Last week I told you of all the stress I had in the last period. Today I will tell you how I feel now, knowing so much more.
Last week’s blog, was written 4 weeks earlier. I didn’t upload it, cause I got anxiety when I wrote it. It scared me to let my inner voice out. I didn’t dear to write my mind empty. I just needed to find a tiny bit off confidence. Well, I guess 4 weeks later I finally found that little bit.
My mom is healing very well! I’m happy to know that all her “extra” things the doctors put in her will be removed next week. Now she can really start to recover and gain strength. It’s a good thing that your mother finally starting to look like your mother again. We don’t know how long it will take, but it’s a start!
All the other bullshit is developing very quickly, it will have consequents for me. One I won’t agree with, but a few others decided. It’s sad to leave, but where a door closes, another one opens. I’m a little scared for the future, cause now that I’m writing it. I don’t know what waits for me. Everything is a blur and things can change within a second of a minute.
Focus for the near time will be my mental state. Something I didn’t pay any attention on for a long time. I just threw myself out of my way and tried to function in a toxic environment. Well, that won’t happen again, cause I’ve I’m not okay, how can I function okay?
I guess you learn a lot in these situations. I learned especially a lot of myself and the people near me. Cause when my life is nog easy, I’m not easy.
And of that, I’m fully aware! Sometimes it’s just something that we can’t do anything about I guess..
See you next time..