Recovery is a daily choice..
It's hard to sit down and write at the moment. Cause the one moment I'm the happiest girl in the world, other moment's I don't see the point anymore. I'm almost 16 months without behaviors yet I feel I should be so much more stable, I should have my life in order, maybe even I should be healed.
New year, same struggles
When I hit my year milestone, I thought that most struggles would be gone. When I survived the holidays, I thought the struggles would be less. Every first felt like the struggles would get less, yet here I am sitting with the same struggles.
So much to keep going
I was sitting in the Uber back home after an EDA meeting this evening. And I realized that a year ago nothing seemed enough to keep going. I lost all the life I had in me. there was this one percent that kept me going. As my former therapist always said; 'Keep holding on to that one percent'. And that's what I did.
Big scary steps
The last period since my last blog, was all based on creating stability. Something in the beginning that would be an easy fix. Well, I can tell you now it wasn't. I had to make certain steps that I didn't want to do and quickly realized that stability was not exactly going to happen.
