I haven’t shared in a while (almost 2 years) and I thought it was about time that I started to share some stuff that happened in the last 2 years. Cause damn, a lot happened in these 2 years! Some of you saw partial stuff online with me, and some of you don’t know a clue, but I think I’m ready to share a bit of my story.
So the last 2 years have been a journey for me, and the major topic that I’ve been having this journey on is self-development. I had to change almost everything I was doing in order for me to be able to function again. Especially the last 7 months have been a deep-going journey where I walked into brick walls a lot. I always thought I knew exactly what I was doing, but deep down I had a cemented way of living that was not benefiting me at all. I was very destructive in my behaviors and in my thinking. I was so destructive, that death was standing around the corner, waiting for me to fall down completely. But I decided to change myself and took a big risk of coming back to South Africa. A decision that changed my life completely.
And here I am, sitting in a treatment house, still in South Africa, trying to get my life back on track again. I’m grateful to be able to say that life has gotten much better. And although there is still a long long way ahead, I’m starting to manage my life a bit more every day. One step at a time, I get the opportunity to do the next right thing, the next opposite action of something that I really would’ve done differently 7 months ago.
I think one of the biggest things I learned is that I was not only a result of other people’s harm. But I also harmed myself and others around me a lot, and that’s been the biggest life changer I conquered here. Because nowadays I will look at my part on a daily basis, which is giving me some perspectives, that I haven’t had in a long long while. It makes me realize that I can’t control what other people did to me, but I can control how I respond to it. It’s a new way of responding versus reacting, something that I did most of my life. I start to give a lot less fucks about others opinions whilst I remain aware of how I can be of service..
But that’s where I leave it for now,